Tuesday 17 March 2015

A chain of kindness!

Image courtesy: colourlovers.com/sundancer|moore at jakyastikblogs.blogspot.in

Wrote this article for the "Parents' Corner" of the Junior Edition of my daughter's school magazine - 2014-2015.


Sometimes a single incident teaches you so much and strengthens your faith in humanity.  Here is one such episode that I would like to recount – one that has left an indelible mark on my mind.

This is about a family who was holidaying in Mussoorie – a young girl in her twenties, her parents and grandmother. Although they were staying in a hotel at the hill station, they had many day trips planned to the more remote scenic areas, higher up in the mountains. The only way to get to these areas was by foot or by cycle rickshaw – mechanical contraptions manually pulled by rickshaw pullers.
The family also had to use this means of transport since there were two elderly ladies for whom the climb would have been impossible on foot.

So they called for one cycle rickshaw and the two older ladies sat in it, while the young girl and her father decided to walk alongside. The rickshaw puller seemed to be a middle aged man, probably in his late forties or early fifties. They fixed the fare and the puller took to the pedals and began to ferry the ladies towards their destination – a temple at the end of a steep gradient that overlooked a beautiful valley.

All seemed well till they approached the gradient – an uphill slope that would mean quite a rigorous exertion for the rickshaw puller, well past his youth. He began the climb, pushing down on the pedals with all his strength but as it was very steep, he was soon struggling at the task. Seeing this, the girl’s father promptly went to help him by actually pushing the rickshaw from behind, using both his hands. Seeing her father, the young girl too decided to pitch in. The look of surprise and gratitude on the face of the rickshaw puller was priceless – he seemed at a complete loss for words to express his feelings.

 This unique sight attracted many stares and some people actually followed suit with their respective rickshaws, bringing forth a chain of kindness. It proved that good begets good and that kindness and humility are what make us human – qualities that unite us beyond man-made barriers of class, status, language and religion.

This makes me wonder at how simple and uncomplicated our world would be if only we did not allow our humane qualities to be eclipsed by arrogance, and our egos to be flattered by a meaningless sense of superiority. Kindness is all it takes to be a good person and we don’t really need any religion to teach us that.

It is the only thing our world desperately needs today!



P.S  - Dedicating this piece to my father, the protagonist of this incident – the man who walked the talk and from whom I learnt some of life’s most valuable lessons. 

Monday 2 March 2015

Is the term "soft leaders" an oxymoron?

 





Think leadership and what is the first thought that comes to your mind? Authority, Control, exclusivity? We imagine a dominating person with a commanding personality, someone who remains elusive and elite, preferring to maintain a distance lest the team members get too close for comfort. Leadership has thus through the ages been considered synonymous with exclusivity, and anyone who deviates from this established school of thought is termed as “soft” and “mild”.

Do good leaders then deliberately work at carefully maintaining that impression of aloofness by never crossing the line between personal and professional, by never letting conversations stray into the zone reserved for friends? Is this born from the fear that excessive proximity would most certainly lead to excessive familiarity and blur the boundaries between designations?

Unfortunately, more often than not, we would have to reluctantly admit that these barriers have become essential in order to cultivate that authoritarian aura, an indispensable trait possessed by those at the helm, without which it is seemingly impossible to exercise control, to have people look up to you and defer to your leadership. Empathy, humility and amiability are not normally traits one would associate with leaders and if such a person were to don the leadership mantle, there is every possibility that he would be considered a misfit, even before he got a chance to prove his critics wrong.

The corporate world abounds with examples of situations where employees, after having been promoted, choose to steadily distance themselves from their former colleagues, either of their own accord or after being “advised” so by their superiors. The same philosophy extends through all walks of life wherever there exists a hierarchy – between juniors and seniors, instructors and instructed, the administrators and administered.

This brings me to the question – are we programmed to accord respect to those who demand it by virtue of their temperament rather than to those who earn it by virtue of their emotional quotient? Do we unconsciously give in more easily to the authority of the whip wielder rather than a more tolerant, democratic and amiable leader? Do we tend to take the latter for granted? Is that why the term “soft leader” assumes the sobriquet of an oxymoron?

Leaders are those who can lead by example, who can bring out the best in their subordinates simply by connecting with them, believing in them and giving them the freedom to work without rigid controls. It’s time we redefined the concept to accept individuals with softer qualities, a more inclusive approach and less sterner exteriors as leaders instead of clinging on to cliches that only serve to widen the chasm between the controller and the controlled.

Do you think that this chasm is a necessary ingredient to drive productivity? Or is it just a hype created to make it easier to wield power? Do share your views and experiences.

Read more about some interesting nuances of corporate culture here

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