We’re really all the same!

 

We paint goodness white and evil black
Black money, black sheep, black mail.
Just a colour – so much flak!
Through the millennia, across the world, this logic prevails
Our language colour-coded, just like our thoughts!

The colour of the skin speaks to us,
Not the heart, nor the eyes, least the soul.
We only see what’s most superfluous
Our minds are closed, our choices made;
Unaware that our judgement has totally misled us.

Why is it so easy to dismiss another,
And to think we’re better than the rest?
The colour of my skin decides my fate,
my race determines my worth, all else fails the test.
Were we born to slight each other thus?
And never think beyond our nest.

How about we raise the bar of our conscience
To confront our own demons, and accept our share of the blame?
Think before uttering an unfair word, discard mindless prejudice;
Refuse to be silent spectators playing along with the game.
Instead, put ourselves in others’ shoes, learn to feel their pain.
‘cos underneath the sun tan, we’re really all the same!

Moment

 

A dew drop of time that can hold an eternity within
That fleeting instant when bonds of a lifetime may begin;
Powerful enough to create memories to cherish
Yet so ethereal – in a flash they vanish.

Moments of laughter and sorrow, moments of fear and fun;
images from a reel like a dream well-spun.
It only takes a moment to trust and another to hope,
One fills you with warmth and the other helps you cope.

Capture it in a picture, or better still – hold it in your heart
But only the ones that in your smile put back the spark.
These building blocks of life, if filled with love and care
are ours to treasure, more precious than gems rarest of rare.

An unkind moment may occasionally cross your path,
Best to let it gently pass rather than give in to wrath.
Moments of compassion more important than being right,
Moments of letting grudges go better than holding on to them tight.

Too tiny to measure, delicate as a snowflake
Each one is unique, there is no second take;
Every moment well-lived creates an impact so profound,
Can make your spirits soar and spread positivity all around.

3 truths I gleaned from a great book

 

As we’re all coming to grips with being confined to our homes, life does have wonderfully strange ways of showing us the occasional silver lining, or at least presenting us with opportunities to create it for ourselves.

For me the silver lining has been to be able to catch up on my first love – reading. The commute-less days leave me with plenty of time and peace to curl up with a book and lose myself in another world. It’s an experience I treasure and one which perhaps I had lost much of a connection with during recent years, as I trudged through life’s mundane challenges.

The latest “treasure” that I had the good fortune of being introduced to by my daughter, is the book “Educated” by Tara Westover. While this isn’t a book review I am attempting to write, it’s more about what I took away from this memoir and from the interviews of the author about her work. There are some precious insights in there that are so valuable that I felt I just had to document them, although they have made an indelible impression on my mind and are a permanent addition to my repertoire of core beliefs and ideals.

To begin with a brief backdrop – the author grew up in a family adhering to a survivalist sect (in Idaho, U.S.) that believed in minimalistic living. This meant never getting the chance of a formal education, never availing the benefits of modern medicine and pretty much leading a predictable, isolated life tucked away from the rest of the world.

“Educated” is the author’s journey depicting her struggles and conflicts as she finally breaks free from that mold to take her first steps (at the age of seventeen) towards getting herself a formal education (finally culminating in a PhD from Cambridge University). What’s fascinating about this autobiography is not only the transformation that this journey brings about in the author, but the manner in which her sensitive mind understands some deeper truths that most of us who take our education for granted, often simply miss out on.

Truth # 1: Stop putting people into boxes

I doubt anyone of us can claim to be innocent of this trait. Tara Westover admits in each of her interviews, that during her initial days at the university, she still held the same prejudices about race, gender stereotypes and homophobia that she had been raised with. She cringes at the memory of the times when she had expressed her outdated opinions over casual conversations, but at the same time is grateful to friends who did not give up on her, countering her every argument with reason and logic until she could expand her mind to grow out of them.

Taking a look at this from another perspective, she also encountered religious bigots who although unflinching in their stance, demonstrated unusual levels of compassion and generosity that many modern and open-minded people may never have been capable of.

There is value in every person and individuals are too complex to be categorised based on their external and even internal traits.

Truth # 2: Reality is usually a far cry from our assumptions

If the human race understood this fact, the world would be a gentler, more peaceful place. The author talks about the rural-urban divide in the U.S. that is characterized by heaps of misinformation and ignorance about each by the other. Having been a part of both sides, she says that the way people in rural Idaho describe city dwellers and vice versa couldn’t in fact be farther away from the truth. Stereotypes are only a part and do not constitute the whole.

Drawing parallels to our world – how easily do we fall prey to prejudices about people from other ethnicities, religions or from “enemy countries”, and cling on to them as if our very lives and faith depended on those apprehensions and antipathies.

Beneath the layers of diverse cultural beliefs and traditions, we are essentially the same beings, driven by the same motivations, fuelled by the same feelings.

Truth # 3: The real meaning of education

It’s normal to get carried away while we try to define what being educated means. Does it only mean acquiring expertise in a field or knowing more about a particular topic than most of those around you? The author’s words from a recent interview sum it up beautifully when she describes education as the “spirit of enquiry”. Being educated is not so much about knowing a whole lot of things but more about trying to explore ideas alien to yours. It’s about viewing the world with an open mind, allowing your curiosity to broaden the horizons of your knowledge and having the grace and humility to accept different points of view.

The long and short of it: being truly educated necessarily means shedding every iota of arrogance and continuing to be a life-long seeker in the quest for knowledge.

Grateful to this silver lining – a great book that reconnected me with the three fundamental truths that are often forgotten in the hustle and bustle of daily living.

The wonderful trend of inclusive workplaces – an immigrant’s perspective

 

Inclusion and diversity are the new buzz words in the modern corporate world . Every employer vociferously emphasizes the importance of a heterogeneous workforce  where talent, expertise and character are the main attributes that determine the worth of an employee, and never their ethnicity.

What is truly commendable is that companies are doing the best they can to weave cultural diversity and equality into the very ethos of their daily interactions. This task isn’t easy, since it requires people in the top management to cast aside many personal prejudices, most of which have been too ingrained in their psyche as a result of societal mindsets passed down through generations and centuries. Fortunately, the attitudes are fast changing and more and more companies today are open enough to accept that stereotypes can be misleading and that reality may not conform to a set of fixed beliefs and impressions. 

The most obvious stereotype to be busted in recent years is that it is impossible for immigrants to possess anything but a working knowledge of the English language. It is extremely reassuring to notice that  inclusive and diverse workplaces display an enhanced awareness about the external world beyond one’s own limited sphere. 

Employers in the modern age are more in tune with international trends and acknowledge that having a non native English accent (American/Canadian, British, Australian…etc) does not affect one’s grammar and vocabulary and is not an indication of one’s ability to write and/or express themselves in English. It is common knowledge today that many of the top awards for English writing have been bagged by non-native speakers of English (Kiran Desai, Aravind Adiga, Arundhati Roy, Ben Okri – winners of the Booker Prize are just a few examples) and that a command over the English language is no longer a prerogative of individuals only from English speaking countries. It is heartening as an immigrant to work for companies that display the spirit of multiculturalism at its best. 

What I love about diverse workplaces is that they are open to dissimilarities in cultural norms  – where differences are perceived as strengths and not aberrations. They are all about celebrating what distinguishes people rather than trying to fit everyone into rigid, inflexible molds just because they have, up until now, been the only benchmarks considered to be of any value.

Our constantly changing world is giving way to constantly changing realities. Inclusion and diversity, in their truest sense means embracing these new realities by rising above outdated preconceptions. It means dissociating ability and talent from race, origin and appearance by obliterating the biases hidden within the deepest recesses of our subconscious minds. It means cultivating a discerning intellect that is as high on the emotional and human quotient as it is on skills and expertise. 

As businesses develop the newest strategies to outpace one another, companies that whole-heartedly join in this positive wave of change will be the ones to contribute with a flourish to furthering the true spirit of globalization. In return they will reap the rich benefits of having at their disposal, a diverse pool of human resources from every corner of the world, representing the collective talent of humanity as a whole.

The art of valuing an employee

 

First impressions work both ways. It’s a given that new employees are (often inadvertently) subject to not so subtle a scrutiny by employers and colleagues during the first couple of weeks of their joining. But what is often disregarded is the fact that employees too are judging the company minutely, and as exaggerated as it may sound, their collective impressions are going to shape its future.

I have always been particularly interested in the human element of any corporate business. Whether it is human resource, customer service, or talent acquisition & retention, it’s the intangible quality of the human element of organizations that fascinates me. Metrics fall short of measuring this attribute, yet it is this quality that proves to be the most accurate predictor of a company’s future success.

A warm and welcoming first day at work, friendly, approachable colleagues, a manager who has faith in my abilities, and senior staff that gives credit to my experience was what I encountered as a new hire at my current location. And I will take this opportunity to add that it has been my good fortune to have previously worked with employers who have always valued and appreciated my efforts. The mutual respect between us continues even today, years after I have moved on.

In my opinion, that is real success for any company – the fact that previous employees still vouch for an organization and speak with nostalgia about the time spent there. For all the material wealth a business may create, the goodwill that is generated between people far surpasses every other parameter of success.

As businesses strive to get ahead of their competition, drive more sales and generate greater profits, they need to focus on their most valuable resource – their employee. Investing in this resource is an everyday affair – it is a delicate rapport that is steadily built, bit by bit, at every interaction. At the heart of this rapport is trust, respect and a belief in the best that the employee can offer (unless absolutely proven otherwise). It involves casting aside preconceived notions and prejudices, valuing the differences and judging every individual as a unique entity.

The first few weeks in my new role have brought in a haul of positive impressions for me. As I dive headlong to work on my tasks with complete sincerity and integrity, I hope to achieve success and watch the company grow from strength to strength – both tangibly & intangibly.

Isn’t Santa for real?

 

For me the most endearing and enduring symbols of Christmas have been the Christmas tree, the stockings, Rudolph, and most of all, dear old Santa – plump and jovial, generous and kind. As a child, I enjoyed letting my imagination get the better of me and therefore readily believed in everything that seemed to make the world a more exotic place. So there was no doubt in my mind that Santa existed, as did fairies and elves, gnomes and witches. The only glitch was that he rarely visited our part of the world – we only read about him in books and got a glimpse of him on TV. That was another era – growing up in the seventies in India was quite different from what it is like today when Santa visits every mall, school and club carrying that huge bag of his, bursting with gifts.

As childhood gave way to teenage and then adulthood, logic and reason outpaced innocence. But the diehard romantic that I was, I never left my imagination far behind. I always knew that I would keep the legend of Santa Claus alive when I became a parent. And sure enough, I regaled both my little girls with heartwarming tales of fairies with their magic wands, of a fantastic world where nothing was impossible and of course – of good old Santa who came all the way from the North Pole with a special gift for every child in every home.

For as long as the magic of imagination and innocence worked, they would wake up every Christmas morning and excitedly look for Santa’s present. And I would be as excited as they were, delighted in their delight, warmed by their belief. As the years passed that conviction changed to a willing suspension of disbelief – my elder one had probably guessed the truth about who left the gifts there for them but she still played along for the sake of her younger sister. The years flew by and Santa eventually stopped visiting our home too.

Fast forward to modern times. I read about how some children were heartbroken and inconsolable upon suddenly learning one fine day that there really was no Santa. Wanting to spare their kids from this heartbreak, many parents were increasingly preferring to steer clear of the Santa myth altogether. My elder daughter, just out of her teens told me that most of her friends had never believed in Santa anyway, not even when they were little. When I quizzed my younger one (now a teenager) about it, she said she too hadn’t been taken in for too long. The truth had dawned on her even earlier than it had for her elder sister and that she too had kept playing along for a few years after that – for my sake. That was rather sweet of her, I think.

Sometime between now and when I was a little girl, the world has drastically changed. Reality has become virtual and we totally thrive in that deception, yet why are we no longer able to willingly suspend disbelief especially if it means adding an innocent joy to our life? Why is it all about being precise and accurate to the point of missing the point altogether? Why should the greeting switch from Merry Christmas to Happy Holidays depending on who you are saying it to?

Christmas to me will forever mean a special warmth in the cold December air, and Santa – the harbinger of joy and cheer. Reason, logic, faith and belief notwithstanding! I guess a part of me has never grown up – and am I glad about that!

New Year Resolutions – A Trip Down Memory Lane

 

New Year Resolutions are made only to be broken – so suggests my experience of more than four decades. Yet every 31st, most of us end up making one. It is perhaps the sheer exuberance of the atmosphere and the spirit of the fresh New Year standing at our doorstep, which infuses optimism into our already lightheaded (dare I say tipsy?) minds that we decide to give ourselves one more chance towards self enhancement. Before I take the “plunge” for the coming year, let me embark on a journey back in time and reminisce some of my previous New Year Resolutions and how long it was until they were abandoned.

The earliest resolution made by yours truly was as a determined ten year old sporting long waist length hair. My mother would lovingly oil and braid my hair in two plaits. I detested the oil but nothing would convince her otherwise. So I decided to take matters literally in my own hands by triumphantly announcing to mommy dear, one chilly New Year’s Eve that henceforth I would braid my own hair. She readily agreed, casting a very condescending look at me. My valiant, determined efforts continued for two whole days before the daily morning struggle cost me a missed school bus and a host of subsequent problems. Finally better (or worse) sense prevailed and mommy dear smiled knowingly as I reverted to my well oiled plaits!

My next resolution was as a just turned thirteen dreamy teenager. My parents had gifted me the book, ‘Diary of Anne Frank’ for my birthday. So swept off my feet was I after reading it , that I wanted to emulate her and thus sprang the resolution to maintain a diary. My crazy adolescent brains fantasised how one day my diary would win the Booker and make me famous. “Dream big! Nothing’s impossible – that’s what all great visionaries vouch for”, my dreamy mind told my even dreamier heart as I religiously poured out each day’s happenings and thoughts for as long as I could. As is inevitable, the dreaminess faded and gave way to practical reality and other worldly tensions (read studies) took much of my time and energies. Gradually the frequency of my diary writing diminished, much like all the exaggerated fantasies of ever bagging the Booker receded into the realm of impossibility.

There came many more after that, generated by an ever idealistic and optimistic mind – will never use plastic bags, will eat only healthy food and will keep mind and body fit by regular exercise and even meditation!! While the optimism continues, the resolutions have, sooner or later, met with the same fate as their predecessors.

Coming to the present, I certainly owe it to the spirit of the New Year and all that it symbolises, to make a fresh resolution. Let’s begin with learning to confront my fears – my phobia for driving for example and get that driving license this summer. But there is also a resolution on a wiser, more philosophical level – one that I have arrived at after four decades of experience. Strive to create happiness in my everyday life rather than trying to find it in imagined situations. Stay positive, love myself and be content with knowing what limitations I can and cannot transcend.

It’s just the first step but I really want this one to be for keeps!