Is the freedom to kiss really worth all this brouhaha?

Image courtesy: vinylartsa.com

The debate’s been raging on for a while now and I just have to take a stand – not because I want to make myself heard but because I need to form my own conclusions and decide which side of the fence I am on. Or am I just sitting on it, unable to choose either?

As a country, we are at an interesting crossroads, swinging between the age-old traditions ingrained in our value systems and feeling the sway of modern winds blowing from the outside world that are challenging these conventions and shaking their very foundations. The Kiss of Love campaign sweeping across the country is just another manifestation of this conflict that seeks to discard old taboos and free people from prudery and hypocrisy.

It’s true – we all have the right to freedom of expression – and if two consenting people choose to express their love in public so be it – why should any eyebrows be raised? At the same time, it cannot be denied that as a cultural entity, Indians living in India have not been brought up to display affection in public. So does that one factor make us a suppressed race? Would the elimination of this particular taboo suddenly catapult us into the elite league of “developed” and “intellectually liberated” countries? This would almost imply that having the freedom to kiss in public is the passport to being modern in thought, deed and action.

I think of myself as a modern, forward thinking individual, far removed from the shackles of mindless beliefs and shallow xenophobia. However I wonder if I would ever be able to go against my natural way of life and indulge in an action that is alien to my disposition. But that doesn’t make me backward, orthodox or regressive, does it?

Let’s admit it, as a people, most of us will be extremely uncomfortable to either make or witness a public display of passion between couples. That’s the way we are, and according to me, it’s perfectly fine to be what we are. Why are we trying to ape the western culture believing that what works for them is going to work for us too? This really isn’t about right and wrong – it’s about what we are ready for and what we aren’t. But more than that it’s about priorities.

If we have to ape the west, why don’t we take a leaf from their punctuality, their professionalism and their penchant for cleanliness? Why cant we be more pro-active about gender equality and shed antiquated ideas about caste, communities, communalism, patriarchy (the list is unending) that do much more damage to our society than any restrictions on kissing in public bring about?

Its not about condoning moral policing either – if a couple finds a discreet place to share some intimate moments, I think we all need to grow up and give them their space without gawking and mocking them. But encouraging this behaviour in such an open manner may send out wrong signals to our teens and adolescents who are already caught in this clash of cultures. They could become easy prey for those looking to have some casual fun and this would eventually take a devastating toll on their emotional well-being at a time when they need to be focused about building their future.

On the other hand, what impresses me is the energy and conviction with which young people are clamouring for this right to kiss in public. It is reminiscent of the many revolutions that shook societies in Europe and America and forced them to amend their mind-sets. It is indeed a positive sign that people have realized that they can bring about a social change – that it is up to them to empower themselves – albeit in a civilized and peaceful manner.

Now the next step should be to channelize this tremendous energy into something more meaningful, something which would lead to deeper societal reforms that would bring real benefits to the quality of our lives. It could be a revolution of the intellectual kind which stems from mature thought and sound reasoning rather than a frivolous demand for a meaningless frill that will do little to raise our overall standards – moral, economic and social.

We are still a far cry from being a truly free society and we need to achieve that milestone by progressing in a step by step manner. Instead of trying to force ourselves into ill-fitting garments, why not work on getting into shape ourselves, or better still - design and tailor outfits that suit us best?

Happy Independence Day!

Patriotism isn’t lofty words and grand songs,
Neither a noble principle nor a pious speech long.
It’s rather an inborn urge, a simple feeling of belonging;
A cherished inspiration, a tug at the heartstrings, a natural daring!

That not many of us can escape being moved at the sight of the tricolour unfurling amidst the chanting of the national anthem is evidence that the above lines are true. Every Independence Day, when (if!!) we witness this familiar scene, we can feel the unmistakable surge of patriotic fervour pulsating through our veins albeit for a few fleeting moments, before reality re-tightens its hold and brings us back to our busy, material world.

            But for the better part of the lives of the general public, patriotism, like everything else has fallen prey to mere ostentation. This is all evident in the “patriotic” fervour that goads people into “liking” nationalistic posts on social media or fervently and dutifully participating in online polls to catapult an Indian to victory in a glamorous contest. Then we sit back satisfied that we have fulfilled our duty, played our role as an Indian citizen, content about having indeed made a difference.

These and many more thoughts cross my mind as we celebrate our 67th Independence Day later this week. How would it have been to have witnessed this event, to have been a part of such a defining moment in history? For those who had given their all to win freedom for the country, it would have felt like a grand culmination of a heroic mass struggle for a glorious cause.

Now, sixty-seven years after that goal has been achieved, is there any noble goal that single-mindedly fires up and motivates the present generation? Do we even ponder about the significance of the Independence Day in today’s context, or is it counted as just another in our unending list of holidays? I think the latter comes closer to the mark as most of us seem completely immersed in the daily grind and hectic schedules, too busy and apathetic to pay heed to other matters that have little relevance in our lives. We aren't entirely to blame either, as we are all in the grip of the modern epidemic called "no time for anything or anyone but myself!" 

We stand today at such a critical juncture that all that we really need to do to make a difference to our society and the nation at large is to simply be conscientious, sensitive and law abiding citizens. Even if every Indian decides to do their duty sincerely and wholeheartedly, it would help rid us of the “chalta hai” attitude that has eroded our efficiency and plagued the entire system. What’s missing are the most basic values and it is these that should be re-instilled in children instead of  emphasizing only on material and academic success. We don’t just need high profile doctors, engineers and management graduates – we also need people who are sensitive, humane, considerate and honest to the core.  

The most fitting tribute that we could pay our great martyrs every Independence Day would be to solemnly rededicate ourselves to our country’s cause by being her worthy citizens for the next 365 days. Our noble cause could simply be a pledge to do our work to the best of our ability, to abstain from the temptation to compromise on our scruples for petty gains and to take a stand against social evils, instead of continuing to be passive onlookers of indecency and injustice.  Over and above this if we can still manage to contribute in our own humble but sincere way, to fuel the wheels of progress of our nation and its people, we will have ensured that the sacrifice of our martyrs and that of the soldier standing guard at our borders has not been in vain.

The only way then is to wear patriotism eternally on our sleeves and in our hearts and feel its perpetual throb in our veins as a constant reminder of our unending duty towards our motherland.